Time flies! That really sums up how I feel about Joseph's first birthday. When I went into labor last year, my only focus was on having a safe delivery and meeting our baby. Never in my wildest dreams would I have known what would happen would I saw that baby's face. My heart would never be the same! Joseph brought emotions into our lives that we have never felt.
In the beginning of this journey to parenthood, we spent most of our energy and effort on trying to conceive and carry a healthy pregnancy. Once Joseph was born, I am not sure we were prepared for what actually happens after the baby arrives. I remember saying to Josh in those first few weeks of pure exhaustion that I wasn't sure I was cut out to be a mom. I was tired, dirty, attached to a breast pump, and feeling inadequate to be in charge of this living thing. I thought it was supposed to be pure bliss and happiness. I had wanted to be a mom for so long, so I should have been a pro at bringing home baby. I think the opposite actually happened. I think I was in such fear the entire pregnancy that I did not prepare myself for life after baby. With time, we finally got into the groove of things and figured out how to do this thing people call "parenting." Everyone told us that it would get easier, but I am sure I called them all liars in the beginning. I know now that each day does get easier. Joseph learned to trust us, and we learned to trust ourselves as parents. Maybe some people are born as confident parents, but for us we needed experiences to build our confidence.
I can not find words to express what being a mom has been like for me. The raw emotion I feel everytime Joseph calls out for me. The way he cuddles with my neck after he has fallen asleep in my arms. The screech he gives when I walk into a room. These are only a few examples of the things he does that makes my heart skip a beat.
I try and remember to thank God every day for the blessing he has given our family. Joseph is a miracle in more ways than one. He filled a void in our hearts that I believed would remain empty forever. He has brought hope to many of our friends who are trying to conceive. He has brought faith to our family because the power of prayer was proven when he was born. Throughout this journey, I have learned that no model of car, no luxury vacation, no brand of clothes, no value of house can give us the joy that comes from meeting the child that God created for us. Joseph is truly the light of our lives and I pray everyday that he grows up to share God's light with the world.Joseph's first year has been an exciting one. He is a very active little boy. Ever since he learned to roll, there has been no stopping him. Now that he is not only walking, but trying to run, there seems to be no rest for this little monster. He is a very vocal little guy and just like his momma, he will tell you what he thinks :)
I have to share that someone we have been praying for during the last few years is now expecting. I believe in the power of prayer, and I continue to pray everyday that God bless those who are asking to be parents. It is a lot easier to agree with this quote now that we have our miracle, but I really do believe, "Even miracles take a little time."
As we move into Joseph's second year of life, I look forward to all the growth and learning I will get to witness. I can't wait for all the wet kisses and pinchy hugs. Our journey to meeting him has only begun. With each day, we get to know Joseph better and learn about him. This journey is exciting and I can't wait to see what the future holds. I pray that our journey will continue and our family will grow. Thank you for joining us on this exciting adventure!
